daughter

When I was pregnant I couldn't wait to have the baby. Boy or girl our baby would be loved with all of my heart. Dwight and I waited until the birth to find out the sex of our baby. When she came out of my body crying I was so exhausted that I didn't ask if it was a boy or a girl. I joke that I didn't care what it was after my delivery.. a girl, boy, cat, dog. After 4 hours of pushing I just wanted to close my eyes, honestly. My mom is the one who asked, is it a girl or a boy?! When I heard girl I think I said to myself, of course it is a girl. I had known in my heart for months it was a girl. I was afraid to believe it too much because I have always wanted a girl. I didn't want to get my hopes up. My mother has a special relationship with her mother. I have a special relationship with my mother. How could I not want that for myself and a daughter some day?

When they handed Anya to me I was still in shock. I looked down at her face while my whole body shook. She stared at me like she knew me already. I have a daughter, I thought. A daughter. Someone to put headbands and dresses on. We can go to the American doll store and watch the Little Mermaid over and over again. We can go to lunch and go shopping. I will make sure she knows she is beautiful at every age. Some day she will get married and we will have a beautiful wedding. I will cry when Dwight dances with her. We can go out for a glass of wine while she tells me all about her life. Maybe, she will even have a daughter herself one day. Maybe I will see her be born, just like my own mother saw Anya's first breath.

It is amazing to see myself in Anya. She looks so similar to me as a baby. Some people tell me it's almost eerie how much she looks like me. As if I cloned myself, or reincarnated a baby me. I had such a wonderful childhood and I can't wait to give Anya all of the joys I had growing up. Almost a whole year has gone by and I still find myself stopping and wondering if it's all a dream. I have a daughter... my daughter.

learning more every day

In the last day Anya has started to balance a lot better and now loves to walk holding onto my hands. Yesterday she let go and stood by herself for 5 seconds! Here is a video of her using the walker this afternoon. She did even better when I wasn't filming but I kept having to get close in case she fell... which she did, twice.

momma's lil helper

She loves to pull clothes out of piles and take blankets before they are folded. This blanket on her walker was made by her great great grandmother. Her mom has a mom who has a mom who had a mom. ;) I am in love with the fact that us girls are continuing the line of moms.

I love you more

Every day I say to Anya, I love you more than _____. I tell her one thing, okay maybe two, that I love her more than. I don't think I will run out of things to fill that blank in with.

I love you more than.. chocolate covered strawberries.

.. picnic lunches.

.. summer nights.

.. Christmas morning.

.. sitting in front of a fire.

.. traveling to an exotic place.

.. nachos.

.. spring skiing.

.. a hot day at the lake.

.. the first snow.

.. a good book.

.. a crisp fall day with hot cider and orange leaves.

.. my morning coffee. (seriously! lol)

Thank goodness I don't have to give these things up but I would in a heart beat for this girl.

using a spoon

Sunday at the park

Yesterday we headed to the park as a family. Dwight brought his fishing rod and tackle box and I brought a picnic blanket with toys and snacks for Anya.

It felt so relaxing to just sit and look at the water. It is such a nice spot to spend the day. I think we live in one of the most beautiful areas.

After Dwight fished and Anya and I relaxed we headed up to the playground. Anya showed Dwight her love of the swings. She also smiled and watched the big kids. She can't wait for the day that she is able to run around with other children. I can see it in her eyes.


We stopped for ice cream on our way home. This time, Anya wanted nothing to do with ice cream. It may have been too cold on her new tooth coming in. Yes, that is right, Anya got a new tooth this weekend. Her 7th tooth.. on the bottom right. Now she will have 3 little teeth peeking out in photos.

little imperfections

What if life's little imperfections end up being our own perfection?

I guess it's all how you look at it.
Is it better to have windows covered in little fingerprints or a sparkling clean view?
A tidy refrigerator door or one covered in family pictures and a child's drawings, posted with pride?
Cleaning up every spill, or letting it fall and giving a baby a chance to learn how to not spill it herself?
Neat little piles of folded laundry or laughing together under the pile as your child throws pieces of it everywhere?

What does a child really remember about growing up? What will I remember about being a mom? I keep thinking about how in twenty years I will remember her laughter. I will remember those ordinary days of reading stories, going for walks, and tickles. I will not remember how clean my floors were that Tuesday afternoon.

Becoming a parent seems to bring smudges, spills, and dirty clothes. Somehow this seems to be perfection in it's own new way. Because every time we have all of these things it means we are living. We are doing things together that make a messy little path. Our piles of laundry, toys strewn about, and applesauce covered clothing just may mean we are living, laughing, and playing.

So I will step over her toys and hug her. I will let those fingerprints stay on the window. I will hold my breath as she learns how yogurt feels between her fingers. I just know I may miss these little imperfections some day. They are somehow my new perfection.

If you see this couple..

wish them a HAPPY 33 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

My parents have been a great role model to my sister and I on what we want in a marriage. It is wonderful to see the respect and love they have for each other.

When I was around 17 years old my dad was fixing my car. I was holding the flashlight. He turned to me and said, you know.. after all these years I love your mother more now than ever before. I was thrown. At seventeen I had never thought of my parents, those old folks, having a deep love that grew stronger with time. I knew they loved each other vowing to be there always.. but to have my dad say it meant so much. I knew I wanted that in my own life some day.

Cheers to 33 years mom and dad.. and cheers to 33 more! ;)

Girls at the winery

Today we met my sister, our friend Janice and her daughter Madelyn at Nashoba Valley winery. The adults did a wine testing inside. For four dollars you get a free wine glass and a tasting of five different wines, liquors and/or beer. After the wine testing we headed out for a picnic. It was so much fun that we want to come back all of the time now. The picture up top cracks me up. Anya went in for a hug from her BFF Madelyn! She loves her!

We have known Janice forever. She lived across the street from us our whole life. Jill met her when she wasn't even a year old. They have been best friends since, over thirty years! Janice was even a bridesmaid in both of our weddings. We love her and her family.

Here are the ladies having a picnic!

This is me and my sister Jill. I love having a sister.

Here is Janice with Madelyn. Madelyn is 20 months and she is not only adorable, she is smart and happy too. It was so fun to watch Madelyn and Anya smiling at each other and talking their own language. I am looking forward to watching their friendship grow over time :)

stroller gang

Yesterday Camden and Kayla and their mommies came over to play. Anya was so happy to have friends over and was laughing and smiling when Camden came in the door. We had a picnic out back with toys and bubbles. We tested the cake I made to practice for Anya's birthday party. The babies ended the day with a stroll around the neighborhood. Kai couldn't make it because he is in Vegas making bets. :)
It was a wonderful day to celebrate 11 months!

11 months

I. can't. believe. she. will. be. a. year. old. in. one. more. month!

Where has this year gone?!

The 11th month was a great one, the best so far. I think she learned more this month than any other month. She is growing and changing daily. It is amazing to watch.

I love how she now plays games with us and we have our little funny things we do with her. She hides under a blanket and waits for us to say "Anya, where are yoouuuu?" and pulls it down laughing. We yell peek-a-boo! Any other child doing this is adorable but it being our own child it is perfectly hilarious.... and adorable.

I also like to put her belly on the top of my head with her feet dangling in front of my face. I turn around to Dwight and say, where is Anya?, where did my baby go? She is, of course, laughing hysterically on my head. I turn around in circles looking for her. She is going to act so crazy with parents like us.

She is still infatuated with animals. I think if the circus comes to town we might just lose her to it. When she sees a cat, dog, bird, squirrel, any animal at all, she squeals and then says ooh ooh ooh. It's like having the animal patrol living with us.

When we go grocery shopping she does this fake laugh at every single person that looks her way. It's a hearty HA HA HA... I love her friendly attitude, or is she laughing at the people and not with them?.. hmmm. Maybe they aren't seeing the sales?

Now if I am talking to someone and she is next to me she will tap me on the arm to get my attention.

The other day I said Anya can I have a kiss? She started smacking her lips together. I said oh good kiss and she said kiss. Another day I kissed her cheeks and she moved her mouth toward my cheek and put it there, giving me her version of a kiss. Yes it is true, my heart does melt every day.

She loves cheerios, cheese, yogurt, tiny ham cubes, toast, macaroni and cheese and gerber cheese puffs (wow this girl likes herself some cheese). She seems to also enjoy broccoli, taco meat (turkey), noodles, pieces of grilled cheese, little pieces of cheeseburger, pancakes, carrots, and chicken. She has had white fish and seems to like it as well. We are definitely trying more foods and giving her our dinner unless it is something she can't have yet such as scallops or steak. Last night I tried to feed her some pureed turkey and squash and she shook her head no and closed her mouth shut tight. I love eating dinner together as a family and we do it almost every night now.

Today Anya said dada a lot. At dinner I told Dwight this. He said, well when you are gone she says mama. So funny, she must think of us when we are gone. Good thing because we think of her too.

In one more month we will be celebrating her first birthday... ever. It will be a time to celebrate the little girl that she is.. her spunky personality, her sweetness and how much we love her. I think it is also a time to say we did it.. we got through the first year of parenthood. Amen to that!

rear facing seats

I recently have been thinking about how Anya will be turning 1 next month and we can turn her car seat around. I came across this video about rear facing verses front facing on another blog. The new recommendation is to keep your child rear facing for the first two years. The video shows a crash test dummy in a mock accident. It is hard to conceptualize what happens in a crash on your own. If you have a child under the age of 2 I highly suggest watching this video.

Danielle

Last night I went to dinner and to see a musical called 'Girls Night Out' with my friend Danielle. We had a fun time. I liked the wine.. the food.. the show.. but I mostly liked us talking each others ear off. Danielle and I have known each other since middle school. We played on the same team in soccer in fourth grade, however we didn't really become close until 7th grade. Once we started hanging out we were inseparable. She was the friend who would roller blade and bike ride all day with me. We would sing to Lisa Loeb and stay up until 2am on school nights together. I would sleep over her house or she would sleep over mine at least twice a week. We would steal pumpkins from the farm next to her house and ride away on our bikes nervously. We awkwardly dressed up for Halloween although we were a bit too old to still do it. She was the first person I tried alcohol with. She was the first friend Dwight met. She was in my wedding. There have been times in the past fifteen years where we were super close and others where we weren't close at all. Times that we didn't talk. The thing is we always seem to find each other again. Now, as an adult, I know there are certain friends who will always be friends. No matter what happens or how long since talking. It is comforting knowing that. When I told my mom that we were going to a musical together she said, oh I'm glad you two are going! Danielle has been your friend forevvver. Fifteen years doesn't really seem like forever. But, when someone has memories of you dancing and singing in front of a video camera to Christmas music and making troll movies.. it might just be forever.

A quote from one of my favorite movies:
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?
-Stand by Me

practice makes perfect

Anya got this walker for Christmas from our good friends Ski and Tiff. She has sat in front and played with the toys and loves it. Yesterday I cautiously let her stand with it and she surprised me with taking a few steps holding on to it! I have to be right there to make sure she doesn't do a face plant but it is good practice for walking. Once she gets better I will take a video and post it. I was nervous to even step away to take this photo. :)

Yesterday we spent the day at home. It was a lovely lovely day. I ignored the floors that needed cleaning. Babies are only little for so long. We went on two walks and played with the walker and her exersaucer outside. I blew bubbles for her on the deck.. it was great. I feel so blessed. I still get teary every couple days thinking of how wonderful it is to be a mom. She is the greatest gift life has given me.

May baby outing

We met up with friends at the Kaleidoscope museum yesterday. Anya was laughing and smiling away almost the whole time. She loved seeing her friends and watching some of the older children run around. I am in awe at her happiness. She is also talking up a baby babble storm these days!

She still loves a great game of peek-a-boo. We play it every day. ;)

I can't believe all of the 'May babies' are turning 1 next month! Kai couldn't make it to the museum yesterday and we missed him. He will be the first to turn 1 year on May 1st. Following him is Kayla turning 1 on May 12, Anya on May 21, and Camden on May 22!

We had such a great time yesterday. I love talking to my mom friends. We email each other weekly and see each other almost once a week now. It's great to have their support and go through the milestones together.

While you are stopping in how 'bout you vote for us.. much love!

Aunt Betty's lunches

My first tulips have opened in front of our home! Spring is in full swing now. We have warm days and we have cool days. The nights are usually brisk, although we do get a warm one here and there. Each week I check the weather for which days are the nice ones, looking forward to spending time under the sun with Anya.

Yesterday we headed to my aunt Betty's house for lunch. She is so sweet making quiche, rice and carrot casserole. We have a glass of wine with lunch and coffee and dessert after. She even had a gift for Anya that included this baby doll. Anya loves her new baby.

Anya loves to see her second cousins Ashly and Jessica. Her eyes follow them around the house and yard. She smiles and laughs across the lunch table at them. She loves other children. I think she is eagerly awaiting her chance to run around with them.

It felt wonderful to sit outside after lunch taking in the heat from the sun. Spending time with the ladies in our family is such a special thing. I hope that Anya inherits this love from me and continues to enjoy the bond between women friends and family.

We did it! MS walk 2010

The MS walk was a success! We collected over $1200 between the three of us! We are so very thankful to our friends and family for donating towards this cause. It warms my heart that you support my wonderful mother and others that have this disease.

We had a really fun 'girls' weekend! After the walk we all went out to lunch. We then stayed over my sister's house for a girl sleepover. Marty was up visiting Dwight and other friends for a 'guy' weekend. I was so very happy that Anya took an afternoon nap at my sister's house in the pack and play. She also slept the whole night without waking (11 hrs). She normally does this (11 - 12 hrs) at home but while visiting other homes she has always woken in the middle of the night needing 2 oz to settle back down.

Anya is such a happy girl and smiled away the whole weekend. She loved my sister's cat Schooner. She called out kit cat while looking around the room for him. She loved showing her clapping skills off. We played music outside while she was in her walker and she bounced up and down doing a little dance with us. I bought one of the Gerber microwavable meals to make it easier to give her dinner away from home. It included chicken, pasta and vegetables. I was so excited about it. Within a minute of giving it to her she turned the whole thing upside down on the table. She then picked up piece by piece and threw it. Thank goodness this little girl teaches me patience. :-)

On Sunday Anya took a long morning nap at my sister's house. Impressive! We headed to the Wrentham outlets after her nap. It was a beautiful day and I found some really cute clothes in the Carters and OshGosh outlet.
We stopped to eat some lunch during our shopping trip and Anya was sporting her new shades that her nana and auntie picked out. What a little super star.

using a bowl

Here is a video of Anya using a bowl :)

crazy cat lady strikes again...

.. and I think Herman is enjoying the love and attention!
This first video includes Herman stuck between her walker and the stove. Don't feel bad for him because I could hear him purring from across the room. He secretly loves her dearly. Listen for her saying 'cat' too.



This second video shows her petting Herman. She is so disappointed when Herman has had enough. He had been sitting there for a while because I had time to grab my camera and hit play.

Foody Friday

Spicy beef vegetable stew

Ingredients
1 pound ground beef
1 cup chopped onion
1 (30 ounce) jar meatless spaghetti sauce
3 1/2 cups water
1 (16 ounce) package frozen mixed vegetables
1 (10 ounce) can diced tomatoes and green chilies
1 cup sliced celery
1 teaspoon beef bouillon granules
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Directions
In a skillet over medium heat, cook beef and onion until meat is no longer pink; drain.

Transfer to a slow cooker. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours or until the vegetables are tender.

This recipe is so easy and very yummy! You can add more vegetables of your choice too. I got the recipe and photo from allrecipes.com. The original recipe calls for 1 teaspoon of pepper but that is way too much in my opinion.

baby boomerang

Pay no attention to my annoying excitement. :)

Anticipation

We can never know about the days to come. But we think about
them anyway...
Anticipation.. Anticipation...
-Carly Simon

The start of spring is filled with promise for the days ahead. Spring is a sign of renewal, regrowth and new beginnings. Anya was born last spring, she was our new beginning.

Every year I get spring fever. I think it should be called summer fever. It happens in the spring but I am really antsy for summer. The leaves start to bud, the grass turns green, and shrieks from neighboring children can be heard. Spring is new babies, falling in love, reading outside, feeling the grass between your toes and even snuggling under a blanket while rain hits the windows. The anticipation for greatness is just as much fun as the actual moment. Spring is that to me, anticipation of summer.

I long for warm nights where we sit outside with a cold glass of wine. Our little deck will be illuminated by the glow from a tiki torch and twinkle lights strung across the porch banister.

Anya will use a sand shovel and bucket at the beach for the first time. I will be covering her in sunblock and inhaling her summer baby smell. I smile as I think of her in her swim suit or sun dress with her diaper peeking out.
The summer days will be long, filled with stretching out on blankets in the grass with books and toys. Anya will be learning to explore the outdoors for the first time.

We may keep Anya up past her bed time to see fireworks for the first time and possibly sit around a campfire too.

We will be visiting all sorts of zoos and places with animals. I can already hear Anya's squeals as she finds that there are more animals in the world than she can even imagine.

We will bring Anya to the ocean to feel the fresh salty air as we browse little shops selling lobster and starfish trinkets. Every year we love having lunch with a view of the sea. Dwight orders a lobster and sometimes I do too. We sit on a patio under an umbrella with our seafood and sigh at how wonderful the New England coast is.

We will visit lakes and pools and we will feel the cool water against our skin as Anya splashes away.

I would love to try out a local outdoor concert. Listening to live music on a summer night with my family sounds like a perfect evening to me.

I am in love with being a parent and doing things as a family. Every season brings up new ideas and places to be together. Some of the things will be new, some of them old, all of them special.

These are the good old days... these are the good old days.

being a momma

These warm spring days have brought naps with no sleep sack resulting in bellybuttons peeking up at me when nap time is through.

Yesterday I ran out to the car to pack up some things before we headed out for the day. I secured the door tightly and turned back to see Anya peeping out at me with her Easter balloon. I had no idea she could see out the front door. She was laughing before this.

For dinner I gave Anya macaroni and cheese for the first time. I think it's her favorite food. She didn't want any part of the yellow squash next to it and only focused on the little cheesy noodles. She was having a hard time picking them off of her tray. She would pinch at a noodle and it would keep sliding away from her. I got up to get one of her little plastic bowls. I have avoided this because I expect her to throw it or dump it out on the floor. I put a spoonful of macaroni in the bowl and handed it to her. She did wonderful. She lifted the bowl up with one hand and used the other to pick out the noodles. I was stunned and said wow Anya you are such a big girl now!

Every day I am in awe at this girls disposition. She is so happy and easy going. I think she will continue to be a really great person as she grows up. I can't wait to get to know her more every day. It's amazing that we made this girl that is teaching me so much about life and myself. I have learned that with love you have more patience. I have also learned there is no such thing as a perfect mom.. we all make mistakes. You become a parent knowing you will care for and teach this little person every day. You then realize they are teaching you things you had no idea you needed. I find myself stopping to read stories outside on a blanket, patiently waiting as she looks over something a billion times and making her duck quack in a funny voice during bath time. She makes me the mother I am. When my mom and dad have told me that they think I am doing a good job as a mom I have answered, it is easy to be a good mom when you love someone so much.

She claps!

Anya's star sighting

Today I went to my dads work to visit and have lunch. If you don't already know my mom works as my dad's secretary (no it's not how they met :)) My dad has a building that he rents out and uses part of it for his electrical business. There is a pizza place that rents space from him and my mom and I had lunch there with Anya. There is another section that is being totally renovated for a medical business. As we were walking back to my dad's office a construction worker was coming up the walkway. Anya started squealing in my arms and waving at him. I had never seen her do this before, for anyone! She only does this sound for animals and never the waving at the same time. He smiled and waved back while saying hello. I said, wow I think she thinks she knows you. I was so surprised at her reaction of him....
until my mom explained to me her reaction.
Well, he was a hispanic construction worker with a white hat. Every morning when we walk downstairs I put Anya on the couch, turn on the Disney channel, and go make her bottle. I return with it and Anya drinks her bottle while watching this guy....



Oh yes, that's right. Anya saw Handy Manny today and waved while squealing.. ha!

Snack trap

Anya has figured out how to get snacks out of her snack trap cup :) She makes a mess but she has a blast!



Don't forget to vote today :)

Monday Monday

Ohhh Monday. You used to be so blah.. and now you're refreshing. Each week we get a new start to play and learn things. After a busy weekend a Monday is Anya and mommy time to laugh and sit in the grass with a ball and books. Now that spring is here we are enjoying more of our days outside. I am simply loving it.

MS Walk this Saturday

Many friends and family have been generous with their help in raising money for the MS walk on Saturday, April 10th. I had posted about it here last month. If you haven't done so and still want to pledge click on this link to help with a credit card or debit card. You can also send a check written out to the National MS Society to me in time for the walk.
I am walking for my mom and others that have this disease.
Thank you very much for your support!

Easter weekend

This weekend the weather was amazing! The temps were in the mid 70s and even reached 80 degrees on Saturday. Dwight had Good Friday off so we started the weekend with playing outside and going out for ice cream. I put my old dress that I wore as a baby on Anya (top photo.) Anya tried vanilla ice cream and she seemed to really enjoy it. :)

After Anya took a nap we stopped at a local garden store to buy some fresh veggies and tulips for our family friend who we were visiting on Easter.

Later that day we grilled dinner off of the back porch while Anya walked around the yard in her walker. She really enjoys being outside and so do we.

On Saturday Anya's Grammy and Great-Grammy came to visit. They took Anya for a walk and sat outside with her. Dwight and I left for a few hours to visit friends for a cookout. It was great to see our friends and catch up with some drinks and yummy food.

On Sunday morning the Easter bunny came and left a basket for Anya!

There were eggs filled with cheerios and cheez-its in it! There were lots of books, bubbles, hair accessories and a toy cell phone! What a fun bunny! Anya loves her new things.We then headed down to Massachusetts to visit family and friends. Anya was spoiled with special surprises. We all had a lovely Easter meal. Anya had a fun filled first Easter!

Two new things happened as well! Anya now claps with both palms open (she used to have one closed fist). She also learned the art of getting cheerios out of the snack trap cup. I have a video I can post tomorrow!