Nanas sweater

My nana knit this sweater back in the 1940s for her daughters. It was passed down and now Anya fits in it. How special is it for her to wear a sweater her great grandmother knit over sixty years ago?

My Bucket List

1. Get my photo taken in front of a tree at the Sequoia National Forest.
2. Own a house on a lake.
3. Drink a glass of wine on the balcony of a Mediterranean cruise.
4. Keep my daughter safe, forever.
5. Go back to Zermatt, Switzerland and attend a street party.
6. Cheat death, forever.
7. Lose 20 lbs.
8. Hike in the mountains of New Zealand.
9. Visit an orphanage in China.
10. Drink a glass of wine on the beach in Hawaii.
11. Have a library of books.
12. Never have huge credit card bills.
13. Never run a marathon.
14. Have a garden that isn't all brown.
15. Learn how to quilt.
16. Catch a huge ass fish like a marlin and get my photo with it.
17. Snorkel in Australia while saying G'Day Mate!
18. Eat a pierogi in Poland.
19. Go snowshoeing.
20. Sit on a boat while reading a great book.
21. Pay for someones groceries.
22. Travel to Disney World with the whole family.
23. Listen to Christmas music while watching the snow fall.
24. Age gracefully.
25. Watch a grandchild be born.
26. Have a complete makeover for free.
27. Write a children's book.
28. Bring my kids to Storyland.
29. Sit in a sauna in Finland.
30. Ride a snow mobile.
31. Go on a sleigh ride to a bonfire to drink hot cocoa.
32. Drink a glass of wine on the ice while Dwight ice fishes.
33. Never get divorced.
34. Volunteer in a food pantry.
35. Get a really nice camera and learn to take better photos.
36. Sit around a campfire while snuggling with my family.

37. Take a trip with my girlfriends.
38. Spend the day on a sailboat.
39. Bake cookies with my daughter.
40. See a monkey at the jungle in Costa Rica.
41. See an authentic luau in Hawaii.
42. Rent a limo with a bunch of friends for a night on the town.
43. Arrive at the airport to buy tickets last second to a surprise destination.
44. Drink a glass of wine on an Alaskan cruise.
45. Be at all of my children's graduations.
46. Learn to play the guitar.
47. Visit a concentration camp.
48. Hold a koala.
49. Go Christmas caroling.
50. Teach my children to give.
51. Laugh until I cry.. a lot.
52. Bring my kids to Santas Village.
53. Instill confidence in my children.
54. Learn to knit winter hats and mittens to donate.
55. Build a sandcastle.
56. Visit the pandas at the San Diego zoo.
57. Star gaze.
58. Be a mom that my children are proud of.
59. Ride a dog sled.
60. Drink a glass of... champagne on a vineyard in France.
61. Hold a baby piglet.
62. Keep the friends that matter.
63. Go inside an igloo.
64. Build a snowman and make snow angels with my family.
65. Eat lots of chocolate covered strawberries.
66. Go on a picnic every year.
67. Raise our family with a sense of faith.
68. Visit Napa Valley and run through a vineyard.
69. Play flashlight tag with my kids.
70. Dance at weddings, even when I'm 80.
71. Always attend mass on Christmas eve.
72. Go shopping while maids clean behind my toilets.
73. Teach my children how to color and paint.
74. Become a really good baker.
75. Drink a glass of wine while watching fireworks on a roof.
76. Break my neighbors stereo system.
77. Own a vacation home on the ocean.
78. Work in a library.
79. Eat mussels on Prince Edward Island.
80. Always remember what matters.
81. Take an art class, just for fun.
82. Watch my husband slow dance with our daughter.
83. Learn to sew children's clothing.
84. Be home with each child at least until they are in school.
85. Catch fireflies.

86. Be the person others can confide in.
87. Drink a glass of wine with views of a mountain in Whistler, Canada.
88. Collect shells on Sanibel Island.
89. Volunteer to bring meals to the elderly.
90. Raise children that are happy.
91. Help out new moms and/or new babies.
92. Ski in Colorado.
93. Do a jig in Ireland while drinking a Guinness and wearing a cable knit sweater.
94. Play dolls with my daughter.
95. Work as a florist.
96. Stomp on grapes in Italy, and then have a glass of wine.
97. Take dance lessons.
98. Buy a meal for a homeless person.
99. Hold a lot of kittens.
100. Never forget that it's people that matter, not things.

*This post idea is courtesy of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop*

Me as a mom, mothers day stories part 3

This is the last and final part of a three day mothers day series..

What I have learned about parenthood is that it is the most humbling experience. I read books. I went to the classes. I talked to friends with kids. I thought I knew a lot about parenting, and then I held Anya that first week and I said, holy crap what am I doing? It's the hard core love that does it. It's different if you do things wrong with a kid that belongs to someone else. It's easy to imagine yourself caring for a baby while you swaddle that doll in your infant care class. When it's your own and the love is knocking your socks off, it's freaking scary.

It was so surreal to see Anya in her little bassinet at the hospital pulled up next to my bed. She stared at me like she knew me. I stared back saying, who are you little girl? Then the mom instincts kicked in and I fell madly in love with her. She was less than a day old and I would have died for her. Talk about scary!

I felt great at the hospital, minus the trauma and thoughts of, what the hell just happened?.. women do this all the time?! Soon it was time to go home. I was excited as we had been there for three nights. I wanted to take this little muffin home and make her a part of our life.

The first two weeks were a roller coaster of emotions. One day I would feel the happiest I have ever felt. The next day I would look at Dwight with tears running down my face and say, she is just so constant. It is the biggest change I will ever have in my life. My hormones were being wacky and I was so scared. I was scared at the amount of love I felt for her. I was scared that I would feel anxious over every single thing I did with her for the rest of my life. I was scared that I would do something wrong. I was scared Dwight would do something wrong. We did do little things wrong, but we learned from them and moved on. With newborns there is no time to sit and dwell over mistakes.

Dwight and I like to go places. We love day trips so it wasn't a surprise when we took a day trip to the Maine coast when Anya was 11 days old. We walked the Marginal Way in Ogunquit on a beautiful May day. It felt amazing to get fresh air. We had lunch and celebrated our new daughter.

I have learned that being a parent means learning something new every day. Over time I learned what she needed while we figured out a routine that worked best. I began to see a personality develop in my baby. It is such an amazing thing to see your child smile, laugh, and then eventually babble and be silly with you over time. It is the best feeling to watch them become an individual that you created.

Over the summer we took more day trips. We learned a lot. We learned that we needed to stop at least once to feed or change her. Car rides became much more interesting. We would go sight seeing and we would not see much more than Anya, her bottle, and diapers. We laughed it off and still had fun.
I always thought I would be the roll off the shoulder kind of mom. I was surprised to find out that I wasn't as easy going as I had thought. In the beginning I knew what was best for Anya. In my mind no one else did. I would challenge Dwight's decisions. It was really hard on the both of us. I'm sure he was standing there as a new dad, unsure of when to step in and when to stand back. Now I ask him, what should I put Anya in for bed? I can't decide how to dress her in this temperature. Does she need a coat today? What should we make her for dinner? I think this is a part in parenting that not many people prepare for or discuss. With two parents and one child... there will be disagreements but you will survive and your marriage will be strong after all. By month two or three things seemed easier. She was smiling, I was smiling. A lot of what I was doing was instinctual and learned day by day. My parents kept telling me that I was doing a great job, so I said, yes I can do this.. I am doing this. Never underestimate the impact of giving someone confidence.

I now understand how a woman can lift a car off her child in an emergency. This love we have for our own amazes me. I feel for the momma animals I see on TV who are fighting for their babies. It's instinctual, this love, we can't help it. It's deep in our hearts, our blood, our soul. How amazing it is to love this deep and feel this strong about anything. I feel lucky that I was given the opportunity to know this part of life.

One of the best things that has happened to me as a mom is meeting other new moms. We are able to talk about routines, feedings, and naps. We don't bore each other with our daily stories. We cheer for each other when one of the babies learns something new or does something funny. The babies are learning right along side one another, we are too as mommies. Having this support system has brought calmness to my days and has erased the loneliness I may have felt otherwise. I am so proud of myself for seeking these friendships for myself and Anya. I know we are happier having these relationships. I can't wait to see Anya running around with her new friends. I have found out who I am as a mom in the past year. This is just the first stepping stone of many. The type of mom I am will change over time. It will change as Anya changes. This is just the first chapter of my story.I am the mom that wants Anya to see things. We go places during the week and on the weekends we frequently visit places with animals. This also has to do with the fact of Dwight and I loving animals. She has been to the coast of New Hampshire, various places in Maine, and Nantucket. We also stay over my sisters house and my parents house every so often. In every trip our car is packed to the roof with baby items, it's a bit hilarious actually.

I am the mom that wishes she had more organization. I arrive at the park to look down and see that Anya only has socks on, her shoes still sitting on her bureau at home. We search the house for her coat only to find it in the back seat of the Subaru. My car is cluttered with stuff.. blankets, toys, and yesterdays coffee cup.. sigh. I am getting better and have learned to set a timer during her nap. When my half hour of lunch and relaxing is up I get up and get things a bit more.. put together.

I am a mom who likes a routine. I had no idea that we would be scheduling our days to be home for naps. If you asked me a year ago if I would be this mom I would have said, no way. I look at Anya and I know she needs her rest. She is still on two naps a day. Once in a while she takes a nap in the car, but I try to plan my days around her so that we can be home for naps in her crib. She is so great about it. We have our routine and I plop her into bed and leave. She falls asleep on her own. I love that she loves a routine too.

I tell Anya I love her about twenty times a day. I cover her in kisses and hugs. I tell her she is beautiful and that she just gets cuter every day.

We listen to music all of the time at home. I dance around the living room and kitchen with her. She laughs as we twirl in circles to the beat. Dwight and I sing songs to her and she has started to try and sing back. She kicks her feet to music if she is sitting down.

I am not perfect, as no mom is. I am just striving to be the best mom that I know how to be. I want Anya to grow up and understand that she made me a mom. She turned my normal, ordinary life into one filling my heart with a joy I never even knew existed before her.

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there. You do the single most important job out there. I find that it also happens to be the most fun I have ever had in my life.

My mom, mothers day stories part 2

Today is the second post in my three part mothers day series. I want to tell you about my mother..

aunt betty, nana, and my mom (g.o.r.g.e.o.u.s)

My parents were married on April 24, 1977. Soon after they were married my mom was talking babies all the time to my dad. He finally agreed to try, it didn't take long, and soon they were expecting my sister. My mom LOVED being pregnant. She loved almost every second of the whole 9 months. Jill Marissa was born on September 5, 1978. My mom was quite like me when she had Jill, scared shitless. She understood when I was full of anxiety and fear after having Anya. She was able to tell me that not being able to breastfeed isn't the end of the world. My mom was a stay at home mom as well. She joined a moms group and met some terrific women to talk to, have play dates, and go places with.

Mom with Jill

Two years and nine months later I arrived, Holly Beth, on June 19, 1981. My mom says she was so happy that I was a girl. She knew that Jill and I would have each other as sisters, and that was special.

Me and my sister

My first memory of my mother is her rocking me in my bedroom. We had a rocking chair and every night she would rock me and sing a lullaby. She would make up the words. Lullaby and goodnight and I'll see you in the morning.. we're going to see nana and go to the beach.. and we'll have lots of fun.. we'll get ice cream and play in the sand.. lullaby and goodnight.

My mom was a stay at home mom but never once has used it against Jill and myself. I'm sure some moms out there say, I stayed home all of those years for you.. you should be grateful. Instead she says, I loved being home with you. It was one of the most fun times of my life. I hope I talk to Anya this way, I think I will.

my parents at Jills wedding on 7/5/08

My parents knew that after having children you needed to take time for yourself. They would go away by themselves on some weekends. You may think this has nothing to do with being a mom but it does.. a lot. Getting away alone and remembering why you are in it together is such an important part of a marriage and a family. They would come home refreshed and I'm sure she was a better mom because of it. I know that when Dwight and I are on the same page, we are better parents, we are a better team. Taking a break together is important.

We also were able to take family vacations. My favorites were Disney world, surprise surprise, and Sebago Lake, Maine. Some of our greatest memories happened on that lake.

We love pinot grigio.. no really, it's one of our favorite things

My mother was the fun mom. You know, the one that all the other kids wanted. We could have a popsicle before dinner. We went places all of the time. We would go strawberry picking, apple picking, pumpkin picking and Christmas tree picking. We would go to Drumlin Farm and take classes on how to make ice cream. We went to canobie lake park and she watched as we went around and around on the children's rides. We also had lazy summer days of staying at home and playing barbies by the pool. She let us dive into our above ground pool. She let us make messes. She did all of these things for us but also because she enjoyed doing them.

Jill with me in the background at Ashby State Park

There is a closet downstairs in our family room. It is under the stairs so it is a weird shape. It was almost like a secret hideaway for my sister and me. My parents gave us crayons and let us go to town. We colored the walls in there. We drew pictures and wrote I love so and so. It is still like that today. Our five year old drawings and eight year old admissions of love are like a time capsule of art scrawled across the walls.

My mom was the room mom and always volunteering at school. It felt so great to be going on with my day at school and see her walk around the corner chewing her gum. She was there, she showed up.. and not just sometimes. I really don't think I can live up to her as a mom. I will try.

Me and mom a couple weeks before Anya was born

My mom jokes that Jill and I never had temper tantrums because we were given everything. I agree in some ways. We were spoiled, I wont lie. However, I think my parents raised us to appreciate things and always say thank you. I think it is so huge to teach your children manners. If you don't, who will? I still remember walking out of Toys R Us on an ordinary day. My mom let me get doctor barbie. I was beaming and I couldn't wait to open the box.

She also taught me about friendship. Friends come and go in the elementary and adolescent years. I remember her words, everyone needs at least one friend Holly. She taught me that no one should be left alone. There were times when I was the one left alone and I know her heart broke with mine. I dread this moment as a parent now.

mom with Anya within an hour of her birth

Holidays were great growing up. We got dressed up, we had our usual holiday arguments getting out the door, and we had family surrounding us. I think family is the most important thing because I was surrounded by it all the time.

We would go to see parades on some holidays and on Halloween my mom made a lot of our costumes. On Christmas we were surrounded with dolls, bicycles and arts and crafts.

Oh Christmas Tree

We always were given the best birthday parties. We had them at the house, Papa Ginos, and indoor swimming pools. The best was my first grade birthday party. My mom hired a magician. Well, a crazy drunk lady dressed as a clown showed up with a trunk of costumes and musical instruments. She stood in our living room singing songs and having the kids wear crazy hats. I'm not kidding, we have it on film.

In fifth grade we had to move on up to the middle school. I was not ready for this. I cried every day for two weeks. I was so scared. My mom sent me to school with a tissue that had her perfume on it. Her smell was like home to me.

Anya at two weeks old with my mom

There were also hard times. My mom had what they thought was a stroke when I was 5 and Jill was 8. We didn't grasp what was going on but mom was in the hospital for about six weeks. My nana came to live with us. My dad went to visit my mom for dinner every night. He owns his own business and had two daughters to take care of. He had all of this to deal with yet he showed up every single night. He only missed dinner with her one night and she sat and cried. What a marriage, what a love. They found out a few years later when it happened once again that she has Multiple Sclerosis. You would never know meeting her. She is spunky and full of energy. She is one of the lucky ones with no attacks in the past almost twenty years.

Mom and Anya at 6 weeks

There were also the hard times in high school. My sister was the rebel, always getting into trouble. I was not. She gave my parents a hard time, a very hard time. I did get mouthy towards the end of my high school years. For most of my college education I lived at home. To say my mom and I butted heads is a nice way of putting it. We have a lot of the same personality traits which can make it difficult to live together. My mom and I had our fights. We laugh about them now, but back then it probably wasn't funny at all.

Mom and Anya at 5 months

As I grew up, we grew even closer in some ways. She wasn't just a mom, she was a friend. We would go shopping and talk about friendships and boyfriends. There wasn't much she didn't know. She gave my sister and I confidence. If there is one gift you can give your kids this is it. She taught us to stand up for ourselves in relationships. Anyone can get a guy, it's who you settle for, were her words.

When I was a teenager my moms loud, boisterous, outgoing personality made me give her looks at moments. As I grew up I started to realize that I wish I was more like that. I tend to shy back at times. Recently my mom was talking loud and being her funny self to others in a group. I no longer felt a bit embarrassed by her 'tell it like it is' comments. I felt bad for the others instead.. they are the boring ones. They are the ones that don't know how to tell it like it is. She makes anyone feel comfortable with her outgoing personality and compassion. I bet they wish they were more like my mom. No wonder she has always been surrounded by friends. Good ones too.

My mom and me on my wedding day 7/7/07

She helped me plan my wedding and and I think she was just as excited about it as I was. During my first year of marriage she mentioned babies a bazillion times. I started to mention them too.

The day I found out I was pregnant I asked Dwight if I could tell my mom that day. He said no. I gave a face and said, who am I going to talk to about this!? We were heading to my parents house that night for a lobster dinner. He gave in. The reason we were going to my parents house for dinner was to celebrate my moms 60th birthday. What a birthday present.. a grandbaby! We showed up and my mom poured me a glass of wine. I pretended to sip it for what seemed like forever. I was waiting for my dad to get home. Once he was home we said, open your gift, open your gift! She opened it and found a bottle of wine, a fancy corkscrew, and a bib that said, I love Nana (I had bought it when we started trying). She stared at it and said, ohhh this is nice. I said, do you get it? You're not pregnant?, she said. Yes I am!, I replied. Then she danced around the kitchen around me. We even had a cake that said, Happy Birthday Nana.

Throughout my pregnancy my mom was right by my side. She listened to me complain, talk about the nursery, and prepare for the baby. I knew she wanted to be in the room while I gave birth but I wasn't sure if I wanted that too. I had never given birth, I didn't know how I would feel. I knew I wanted some time to be only with Dwight at the hospital. I wasn't sure who I would want there for the big moment. When we went in to the hospital to be induced I told my mom ahead of time the plan. I told her I would call when things started progressing. It took all day and I finally called my mom and told her to be there at 6pm. I got my epidural. I was feeling great and Dwight went to eat dinner. I called my mom around 5:30. She was at Dunkin Donuts next door, waiting for the clock to hit 6pm. While laughing I said, get over here. She came in with a big smile and it felt so wonderful to have her there. In a couple hours the pressure started to get bad and pain started to occur. The doctor came in to check me and I let my mom stay. She sat quietly in the corner. 10 centimeters! We can start pushing, the doctor exclaimed. I had discussed it earlier with Dwight of having my mom stay and he was fine with it. I said, mom you can stay. She ended up holding one leg and seeing it all. She let me claw onto her arm and scream. She was there along with Dwight every moment. She asked if it was a girl or a boy. She took pictures of Dwight cutting the cord. I am happy she was there to see Anya arrive in our world. I know it was one of the best moments of her life, she does tell me this weekly haha.

Us three.. Anya at 6 months

From the moment Anya was born my parents were smitten. How could you not be?! ;-) Anya looks a lot like my mom, and I love that. My mom and I have grown closer this year. I have a child now and I now understand a mothers love. I call and ask questions and sometimes say, wow this is hard. She says, yes it is I used to ask God for more patience every night. I think of how I feel for Anya and I can't believe my mother loves me that much. I never really understood until I felt that love in my own heart.

I think it's wonderful that Anya will grow up with a close relationship with her mom's mom. I only can hope that I will impact Anya just as much as my mom has impacted me. I hope my daughter can one day feel as proud of her mom as I do of mine.

My Nana, mothers day stories part 1

In the next days leading up to Mothers Day I will blog about my grandmother, my mother, and being a mom myself. Here is the first of a three part series ;-)

My nana is one of the most extraordinary women I have ever met in my life. She is one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. She could have been a model back in the 1940s. She is hilarious, and she is so warm and loving.

My nana's parents were both born in Poland and came over to Ellis Island as teenagers. The trip to America took three weeks. Can you imagine? They met in Lowell, Massachusetts and after they married in 1912 they started a family in Dracut, Massachusetts. They had bought a piece of land and paid 25 cents a week for it. They started a family and had five children. My nana was the youngest of the five. She was born on April 4, 1922. All babies were born at home back then. They owned a cow, chickens, rabbits, pigeons, goats, ducks, pigs and turkeys. Owning these animals helped with having food during the depression when her father lost his job.

When my nana was 17 years old she began work in a woolen mill. While working in the mill she met a friend, Josie. Josie had a brother and my nana began dating him. He was enlisted in the Navy, this was during WWII. After meeting him they were married 8 months later. My nana was 22 and my grandfather was 25. Eleven months later my two aunts, Betty and Vicky were born (twins). My nana was living with her parents because my grandfather was still overseas. When he returned they bought a home one street away from her parents. My mother, Francy, was born 2 1/2 years after the twins and a brother Jackie was born 15 months after my mother.

My nana was and still is a loving mother to her four children. She is a loving nana to her seven grandchildren. She now has 10 great grandchildren that she adores as well. There are no words to express that she is around to know Anya. I get teary at the thought of her laughing with Anya and telling me how beautiful she is. Thank God she got to meet my daughter.

My memories of nana include arts and crafts all of the time. Coloring, painting, and making stained glass. She made quilts, dolls, embroidered pictures, you name it and she could make it. Do you understand where my sister gets her talent?

She was always making jokes with us. I still remember her telling my cousin, Jared, I'm gonna take your nose and turn it inside out! She cracks me up. At 88 years, she is still silly. I love that. I want to be silly at all ages too.

My grandfather and my nana used to take us to the 'junk' stores to find little trinkets and toys. We would pick out mothers day gifts and fathers day gifts there. I wonder what we would get? I don't remember. They would take us out to lunch and sometimes to special places such as Easter egg hunts.

She found beauty everywhere. I do mean everywhere. I remember sitting in the car on the highway at night. She turned to me and said, aren't the car lights so pretty.. just look. I want to see beauty everywhere too.

Her house smelled so delicious. What a wonderful cook. She would always cook on the holidays, blending Polish and American traditions. She would bake all of our birthday cakes. I want to be a cook like her.

She had a green thumb and planted flowers all over her yard. It was so beautiful with the pinks and yellows against the green. I would love to be that way some day, if only I could not kill every plant I own.

Nana was always there to lend a hand. While my mother was sick during an MS attack nana came and lived with us for weeks when I was 5 years old. I was little and had no idea what was going on. Nana dealt with me when I said, no I will not eat that for dinner. Stop killing me! She also let me stay home from kindergarten just because I didn't want to go that day.

She has such a warm nature. I still, as an adult, cozy up to her when I am sitting next to her. I love her hugs and her gentle nature. I hope I am that cozy. When I tell her I love her, she tells me I love you more back. When she writes a card she writes, my holly on the top.

She is gorgeous and always will be. People comment on her beauty, even at the age of 88. When Dwight met her he said, I hope you look like her at that age. Yeah, me too. I hope I have a lot of her qualities at any age. I would be lucky with just a few.

Happy Mothers Day to all the grandmothers out there. You started a family, that started a family and the love continues on. How wonderfully significant to be the roots of a family tree. What would a tree be without it's roots? Nothing.

Here comes Peter Cottontail...

As we quickly approach Anya's first Easter I find myself reminiscing about what Easter was to me as a child. It involved chocolate eggs, pastel clothing and mary janes. A couple weeks before Easter we would color eggs. I remember the dyes and stickers spread out over the newspaper covered kitchen table. We would also visit the Easter bunny. Sometimes he would be at the mall and sometimes he would be at a friend's party. We have pictures of us with him and his head looks the size of one of us. How did we not run screaming?

(I got this picture off the web.. made me laugh)

On Easter morning I would wake to Jill calling my name or tapping me while whispering, Holly.. Holly. Since she was older, she knew the magic of special holidays before I did. It was itching under her skin the moment she fell into a bit of wakefulness. If our parents weren't up yet Jill had already woken them up herself or we would wake them up together. The best way to wake dad was to tickle his feet. He hates his feet being tickled. We would all tumble downstairs in our pajamas, bedhead and all, to spot two large Easter baskets on the coffee table or in the middle of the floor. Jill and I would rip them open and dig in the green plastic decorative grass. We would hold up colorful tin wrapped candies and a fuzzy bunny or soft lamb stuffed animal from the Easter bunny. My favorite was the hollow chocolate easter bunny in the box with the candy eyes. You know what one I mean, right? Those were the best.

After we finished our baskets it would be time for our egg hunt. At our house the Easter bunny hid the small chocolate eggs wrapped in colorful tin wrapping. Jill and I would run around picking up eggs. She always found more, she was older. My parents have a high sloped ceiling and there is a window waaaaay up in the corner. There were always a couple eggs hiding up there. We used to say "woooooah the easter bunny must jump really high!". ;)

Later, we would all get into our Easter clothing. Whatever happened to little girls in Easter dresses, white hats, socks with the frilly lace and mary janes? Every year we would be dressed up as little dolls in our Easter best as we piled into the car. Even my parents were looking sharp. I think that everyone should dress up on Easter, don't you? I don't remember the getting dressed part, just the getting into the car. Mom had dressed everyone in the house, including dad. Those mary jane buckles are a pain and a half, not to mention little girls tights. Soon we all hopped ourselves in the car shining like Easter ornaments, food cooked and in the back, Easter lily for Nana. Mom had pulled it all together herself. Thank you mom, what are you a saint?! Anyway, we would be on our way to Nana and Grampys house. Jill and I would start fighting about something because that is what siblings do. We would get mom and dad mad and all of us would be bickering back and forth. Dad even threatened to leave us on the side of the road once. It was years later when Dwight and I spent our first Easter together that I found the humor in all of this. It was the spring before we were married. We were arguing in the car on the way to spend Easter with family and I started crying only to burst out in laughter when I realized history was repeating itself. We were fighting on the way to spend Easter with family, go figure.

So back to my story. We would get to Nana and Grampys where everyone was talking over everyone. We are Polish and loud. There would be laughter, jokes, and Grampy would be complaining about how nothings free any more, or something of the kind. The house would be warm and smelling of ham, potatoes and onion. Nana's house always smelled of yummy food. We would find our cousins and if it was nice outside we would run around in the fresh spring air. The snow was finally gone and sometimes there would be buds on the trees. You could feel the anticipation of a new season. The adults would get some pictures of all the children in their white and lace. Once it was time for dinner, Jill and I would crowd around the children's table with our cousins and giggle and talk the way children do. We would have ham, potatoes and kielbasi. We are Polish so there is always kielbasi. There would be a bowl of hard boiled eggs in the middle of the table too.

This Sunday will be Anya's first Easter. The Easter bunny will be coming to our house to bring her a basket. We are then heading down to celebrate with Dwight's side of the family. Anya will wear an Easter dress, tights and white mary jane shoes. No hat or frilly socks, although I thought about it. Maybe next year. There will be some yummy food, family and friends. Anya will be creating her own holiday memories with us. As she gets older the Easter bunny will leave eggs for her to hunt at our house. I hope for no arguments in the car, but I'm not promising anything. It is so special that we are starting our own traditions that she will look back on one day and recount to her own children. I only hope that she looks back as fondly as I do of my Easters.

So, what was your Easter like?

Pulling teeth.. not really

Last spring I went to the dentist for a cleaning. I was 8 or 9 months pregnant. I have a new dentist and I have seen the same hygienist the two times I have gone there. The first time hurt like hell. I almost did not want to go back. I forced myself to because I told myself that A. I was really due for a cleaning that first time.. of course it would hurt and B. I was pregnant at the time and I didn't know it.. (gums bleed and hurt more when you are pregnant). Anyway, 6 months after this hellish appointment I made my way back to the dentist. We went over my health history. Any changes? Yes I am almost about to pop with a baby.
As she is cleaning my teeth she is asking me about the baby.
Do you know the sex? No.
How have you felt? Pretty well.
Are you returning to work? No.
This prompted her to tell me all about her sister who had babies and stayed home. She just can't understand how she will ever be able to go back into the work force after taking all this time off of work. I am laying there with my mouth open for my cleaning not really saying anything. I can't, my mouth is being worked on. Next she begins talking about a co-worker who is pregnant. She is debating her choices of daycare after the baby arrives. "She says she doesn't think she would be able to stay home and do nothing all day". Really.. glad to know I am going to be doing nothing at home all day with a newborn. I didn't say a thing because this hygienist has no children. She doesn't know that staying at home is not doing 'nothing' all day. When I was on bed rest.. THAT was doing nothing all day. She doesn't know what it is like to care for a child.. how tiring.. amazing.. challenging.. stimulating.. fun.. She hasn't held a person that came from her.. and felt her heart ache with love. That is why I will continue to go there and have her clean my teeth... because seriously.. she just has no idea.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Happy Birthday Dad! We all love you so much! Because of you, Jill and I knew what to look for in a spouse. We view your lifelong of love for our mother as something that we want to have as well. We don't look at birds the same.. or the tress or the sky. We enjoy science museums and art museums. We believe in ourselves because you have always been proud of us, and have never been too shy to say it. We know more about cars and hold the flashlight well ;) We feel comfortable with painting any room in our home by ourselves. We appreciate Simon and Garfunkel, The Rolling Stones, The Rascals and most bands out of the 60s and 70s for that matter. Our children will grow up with dancing around the living room and the quick humor you have taught us. Now I get to share you with my own daughter and call you Grampy. You have been the best father to your girls and we are all so lucky to have you in our lives. Love you and have a wonderful birthday! XOXO